The Trouble with Internet Social Lives

is, for me at least, those times when someone you regularly chat to goes quiet. All sorts of imaginings occur. In general it is merely that they were obligated to something in the 'real' world i.e. work.

Or perhaps their internet is down i.e. haven't paid the bills.

But sometimes it could be something more serious. i.e. an accident or hospitalisation or even death. Sometimes their family will leave a message on the site for those who have become close 'friends' though never met.

It is so much worse when nothing is left on their pages, when all the sites you have in common give no mention of them and they just never return. These people can totally vanish leaving their cyber friends to wonder forever more.

Perhaps a system or a 'Hello -I am alive and well' day could be arranged, though of course some might not be well, and those fallen on hard times may have no internet access.

In general, if someone disappears, I worry for them for a few weeks, then I tended to assume a major upheaval such as death.

When I think back over my years online there have been several losses. One gentleman was well in his eighties so I think it was safe to assume he passed away. He would be in his early nineties today if he was with us, and if he was around I am sure he would have found a computer somewhere, he was that sort of man.

Sometimes people might disappear for strange reasons - perhaps they had to change their names for legitimate or illegitimate reasons.

When I do hear that an internet friend has passed away I am effected every bit as much as I am when a real life friend departs.

Sometimes more. There are few real life friends I converse with on a daily basis. Yet online each will have updates even if I don't actually chat I know what they are doing and how they are feeling. Of course there is some overlap where real time friends update and chat online but they aren't the problem.

The problem is the unknown, when someone vanishes. I would like to see a death notification centre or something that automatically informed all the sites when a user has passed. Yes I know the instigation of such a site would be huge, and the problem of shared names etc would make this very hard - but if each person left behind a list of their sites and user names it could be done(maybe) :(